Journal Through Time

I've decided to keep a diary of my travels through time. Time travel isn't all that difficult to accomplish after all. To go back in time you merely have to travel more slowly than time. To travel forward in time, you only have to go faster than time.

Einstein proved that you can go faster than time...but the minute you slowed down, time caught up. So, the trick is to stand stock still at an acceleration in excess of the speed of light. Conversely, to travel back in time, you must move slowly and let time pass you up. In fact, you must be standing stock still more slowly than standing still. This takes some practice, but you can learn to do it with scrupulous practice. Of course, the time spent practicing will be wasted because it will not have happened when you are successful.

The difficult thing is/are paradoxes. For instance, I wish to keep a journal of my travels through the fourth dimension. But if I travel forward in time and write about it, the minute I travel back in time, my journal entry vanishes. It doesn't exist yet. So, I am working on a "temporal indelibility ink" that should solve the problem. So far, it works for about two days into the past.

Another paradox occurs when you travel to the future. Since you are when you aren't yet, the future tries to slow down for you to catch up. And the farther you go into the future, the more obvious the slowing. If you are only an hour or so in the future, it's no big deal. All that happens, is you wait a bit longer for things like elevators and traffic lights. But go, say a week into the future and order a hamburger. It will always be cold when it arrives, like a day later.

Therefore, it's advisable to pack a hot lunch for extended trips into the future. And if you've decided to journal about the trip, don't bother. When you go back into the past, it'll already be there. I know this sounds counter-intuitive, but time-travel tends to be so.

Time travel is, as I have indicated (or is that, "will indicate"?) a tricky little devil. In violation of logic, there is one thing that can travel in time with no effort at all. And that thing is not a physical item like a dog or a spacecraft...that thing is an idea...ethics.

It seems that value systems exist outside the space-time continuum and are able to turn the clock backwards or forwards at will. For instance, assisted suicide is an idea who's time has not come, but for a time, it existed in our time. And many of the forward-thinking ideas of the framers of our constitution have reverted to a time before they were written by the ethical manipulations of the Bush administration. It seems that Democrats have a better aptitude for generating ethical ideas towards the future. And Republicans, naturally, return ethically into the past, often even before ethics existed. It is the rare Republican who can be enlightened into the future.

To be clear, this is not a political commentary. It is merely an example of the dangers of unfettered time travel by amateurs.

So, I am going to keep a journal of my forays across the space-time continuum, and for anyone who wants to read them, you can click on the hyper-temporal link below. But be advised, someTIMES it works and someTIMES it doesn't.

ttt:/journalof time.fst