The Music Biz

It seems that my brief foray into the Country/Western music world is finally going to pay some dividends. But, not in the way I'd hoped.

It's abundantly clear to me, that Nashville is extremely unreceptive to any new twist on their formulaic genre. The stage of the Grand Ol' Opry will probably never present music that pushes the envelope even a little around its traditional themes. How do I know this? I spent 11 weeks in that town, with demos of some great country music and had doors slammed unceremoniously in my face by stodgy old men who wouldn't know a great song if it bit them on the leg.

Granted, my offerings were all by young Jewish performers, but they fit the classic country mold to a "T."

For instance, how could they not have loved "Farblunjet" by Patsy Klein? Or the chilling tale of a young Jewish soldier fighting in Iraq whose life was saved when an armor piercing shell couldn't penetrate the page with Thou Shalt Not Kill on it in "The First Five Books Are Good Enough For Me." And I was politely, but firmly, told that the public wasn't interested in a beautiful ballad like Garth Schimmerfelt's "I Love How Your Touch Calms My Gas."

But I wasn't to be deterred. There are a courageous few executives out there who can see beyond a lack of steel guitars and ten gallon hats. And I have broken new ground with the upcoming release of my record label's premiere CD. It will be packaged by Manischevitz with every box of Passover Matzoh they sell this year. And, it will be the first Kosher release ever.

The title track alone should sell millions on iTunes. It's called: "But For You...$9.98." It is the bittersweet tale of a young, Jewish, Texan girl...an innocent, who has an ill-advised and ill-fated affair with a soon-to-be-ex-President of these United States. She is devastated, but recovers her self-esteem when she realizes that she is not alone...that he has been doing to all of us what he has been doing to her.. I'm not saying this is a true story...and I'm not saying it's fiction. I'm just not saying. And you can quote me on that. But either way, Nashville, you had your chance. Bite me.