Observations On My First HALO Jump

Hi gang! Okay. I'm not actually writing this. I'm narrating it. I'm speaking into my helmet-mounted mike and recording everything digitally on the little mp3 recorder in my jumpsuit pocket. I'll get it transcribed when I land.

I'm here in the jump bay of a Piper something-or-other. The cabin is pressurized and heated, but back here it's cold as hell and the air is real thin. I can barely get my breath. But that's gonna change in about two minutes.

Okay! Before I take that BIG first step, I suppose I'd better explain what I'm doing. I'm about to make my first "HALO" free-fall. HALO...That's short for High-Altitude-Low-Opening. I'm jumping out of this airplane at 19,000 feet and not opening my parachute until about a thousand feet from the ground. I'm gonna fall about three and half miles.

I'll be in free-fall all the way there at what they call "terminal velocity. That's about as fast as a body can fall through air, and it's around 180 miles an hour. But sometimes I'll go faster, as I take a dive position and nose down like a bullet. Other times, I'll slow up and kind of fly. When I spread my legs and arms, nylon wings and a tail are sewn into the jumpsuit. I'll look kinda like a big bat. Jeez. What a rush! And I haven't even jumped yet.

I hope you can all hear this, because the wind from the open door is buffeting the living crap out of us. Even though there's a lot of wind up here, there's not much oxygen. I've been breathing from a can of it for the last half hour to flush the nitrogen out of my system. Otherwise, I could get Hypoxia. I think it's like the the opposite of the bends that divers get. God, who'd want to go scuba diving? That's so damn dangerous.

Everyone said I was nuts to do this. Even Elsa, my girlfriend. She said if I don't come back, she's gonna be pissed. Well, yeah! Me too! Anyway I didn't save enough from my summer job at the car wash to get everything I needed. But I'll still be okay. I had to choose between the recorder and an "AAD". I couldn't afford both. Besides. I'm not gonna need an automatic (chute)activation device. I'll know when to pull the ripcord. The altimeter thingy sounds an alert that says when to do it. And maybe I am crazy, but I'm not stupid!


The target is about six miles south of here. I am so stoked! Hear that? Probably not. That's the jump signal. Gotta go. I always wanted to yell this. Geronimooo!

Man! I can hardly talk! I hope you can understand me. The wind's pulling my cheeks back like around my earlobes! The ground looks like it's miles away! I guess it is! I don't feel like I'm falling though. I feel like I'm one of those beach balls at the department store, hovering over a fan display. I think I'm a little off course. There's not supposed to be a mountain down there. I think I'll spread my wings and fly south for the winter. Here I go!! Wow! It's tough extending my arms. The wind fills the wings and pulls like a sonofabitch! Turning south. I think that's south. The sun's right above me so I don't know for sure. Mental note. Don't jump at noon anymore.

I know. I'll check the GPS. Man! It's in my shirt pocket! I've got to go back in dive-like-a-rocket mode to reach it. If I only bend one arm, I'll start to tumble. Almost there! Got it! Can barely read it! What!?! It says I'm on the corner of...what a piece of...Okay. I see. I'm about 6 miles off course and a federal wilderness is right below me. I've gotta head that way. I think that's south. It's not the south I was heading before. This is the other south. The not-north one. Whoops! There goes the GPS. I think it's heading a bit northeast. Wonder which of us'll get to the ground first. Hope I lose that race.

Wow! The ground is sure rushing up at me. I'll bet I'm half-way down already. What's the altimeter say? 5400 feet? Man. This ride's gonna be over a whole lot sooner than later. I'd better get back into glide mode and make for the target area.

This terrain is awesome! The mountain gave way to beautiful foothill scrub and...where'd that mountain come from? There are no mountains on this line! I think I must be heading back the way I came. It's the wind. It's gotta be! I didn't take the wind into account! Gotta correct. What's that sound? Sure is annoying. It's like a little beeping from somewhere inside my head.

No. It sounds more like the jump buzzer on the plane. Wonder what it is. Oh my god! It's the ripcord alarm! Gotta open the chute! I'm too low already! Gotta grab the ripcord! Where is it? What the hell is it doing up there? I must've knocked it loose when I got the GPS! Gotta grab it! Almost. Alllmooosst! Got it! Ungh! Whooo! That was close! okay. The canopy's filling with air. It's almost full. The ground's rushing up pretty fast, but I think I'm gonna just get by, by the skin of my... Oh no! The lines are tangling. Gotta spin the other way. Can't control the
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Okay. Bet I scared you there. No. I got down safely. But I am way off course. I could be in trouble. I've only got a couple of energy bars and no water.

The terrain is rough here and I have no idea how far I am from the target area. And...Oh crap. The batteries in this mp3 recorder are almo