Bureaucracy's Beginnings...a parable

Three vacationing government employees, are on safari deep in a jungle. They travel with an experienced guide who is familiar with the dangers of the wild and continually alerts his charges about what steps they need to take to ensure their continued safety. The trail is well marked and has the earmarks of the presence of previous parties. A pile of stones here...a name and date carved into the trunk of a tree there...a skull on a pike.

They arrive at a fork. Someone has crudely fashioned a sign and pegged it to a tree with a tiger's fang. The sign has two arrows on it and reads: "Safe Passage," with the arrow pointing left, and "Tiger Trap," with the arrow pointing right.

The guide sagely informs the trio they should take the left fork. But the trio huddle and after some discussion tell the guide they want to take the right fork. The guide asks them why, and they explain that since tigers can't read, one would be unaware of the trap ahead. But since they can read, they will be on the watch for any perils they may encounter. And they really want to see a tiger close up. Maybe there's already a tiger in the trap and they can get pictures.

Astounded at their stupidity and stubbornness, the guide tells them they are completely crazy and resigns on the spot. He hurls their money at them and heads off down the left fork. As he storms off, he relents slightly and calls out to them that he'll wait for them at the junction at the end of the trail for one hour. If they get there alive, he tells them, he'll guide them the rest of the way back to civilization. The trio respond that when they get to the end of the right trail, they won't need him and laughing, they pocket their money. He flips them off and tromps away into the jungle mumbling about what idiots government employees can be.

With a confidence that could only be borne of ignorance, the three government employees head off down the right trail. A couple of hundred yards further on, they encounter large a pile of leaves.

One of the trio tells the other two that he he grew up in the city and never had a chance to leap into a pile of leaves and that he always wanted to do so. The other two are skeptical of this plan, feeling that this might be the trap they were warned of, and say so. But the first replies that this couldn't possibly be the trap. It is too obvious. Tigers are vicious but they're not stupid. Even a tiger wouldn't fall for a leaf-covered pit.

Swayed by the irrefutable logic, the other two shrug and stand back. With a running start, their companion leaps directly into the middle of the leaf pile. There is a cracking sound and he disappears instantly, as if swallowed up by the Earth.

His friends approach the leaves with caution and hear him cursing from below. They carefully feel their way to the edge of what appears to be a deep and narrow pit. Their friend is dusting leaves off himself and standing in a pile of sticks and rough-hewn boards. Above ground, the pair attempt to formulate a plan to extract their friend. Several plans are put forth, and after some discussion, it is decided they will go down and make sure he is alright before helping him to the surface. A few vines hang down into the pit and they lower themselves down.

Just as they reach the bottom, there is a loud, low growl from somewhere above. They look up to see the largest tiger in the entire world, peering down at them licking his lips. The trio immediately grab for their cameras, for this big fella was most certainly a prize.

But before they can get off a single shot, the tiger leaps down into the pit and circles them threateningly. Suddenly, and moving with (natch) cat-like speed, he pounces on all three and sends body parts flying all about. The beast then proceeds to indulge in a government worker smorgasbord.

His appetite sated, he easily scales the trap's dirt and root walls in a single leap to seek a patch of sunlight and a nap. What little remains of the three government workers lays strewn about the pit, and in time decays. Dust to dust...

Now, unlike the warm jungle canopy, the pit is cool and damp. And it happens to be reptile mating season. Pretty soon, snakes of every color, pattern and size begin slithering down, finding potential mates and forming enormous mating balls. Before long the tiger trap has become a pit full of snakes, writhing about the remains of dead government employees.

And that dear reader, is the model for modern day bureaucracy.