Robot Parts?

Gentlemen and Ladies:

It has been predicted that over the next decade or perhaps two, robots in the home and at the workplace will become commonplace, even ubiquitous. It will require enormous amounts of resources to build and maintain these labor-saving devices.

The irony should not go unnoticed, that it will take humans to service the robots, so that they in turn, can take a load off humans. Of course, we could build service-specific robots whose sole function it would be to repair robots in need of fixing. But who or what would fix them? It could be vicious cycle.

When a robot finally clanks its last clank, it will be recycled into a new, more efficient version of itself. That is, unless we, idiotic humans make it from materials that are difficult to recycle or design obsolescence into the things like we do with cars.


But these aren't insurmountable issues. The big one...the one over which I mull constantly, is what do we do with robotic waste? We are already designing organically-based light emitting diodes for televisions and organically based processors for computers.

As this trend continues and inevitably expands, we are likely to see computers and their mobile counter-parts, robots, commencing rudimentary metabolic processes akin to those of lower life forms. As robots "Evolve," so too will their metabolic processes. Even a robotic sensor can see where this will lead. We may have to design entirely new septic systems to accommodate robotic organic waste unless we are willing to share our commodes with the electric help. Will their shiny metal behinds scratch the paint on our toilet seats? The future approaches, riddled with questions for which there are not as yet answers.


I have to proposed to the National Science Foundation that a study be undertaken to determine what form the disposal of robot waste products shall take. But the government is typically unwilling at this point to address the issue. Privately, more than a few of those who would not take a public stance have expressed their opinions that this is a serious issue. However, the current administration has, ostensibly for now, tabled any discussion. I suspect that this is because those automatons in the administration would rather spend their dollars for pork than to plan for the future.


Therefore, it falls to private industry to puzzle out a solution to this problem before it becomes a reality. Which is why I am appealing to you, the American Society of Plumbing Manufacturers and Contractors to privately fund a research project on the proper way to dispose of robot refuse. Given the various toxic and non-toxic power sources robots will use and use up, we must be prepared to dispose of them all in a safe, economically feasible and environmentally sound fashion. I await your response.

Klaatu Barado Nikto,

Gort